I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
