Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
You've changed since you got that strap on
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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