You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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