I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
