It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
