i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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