is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
