somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
time to smoke my breakfast
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
