I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
well you can't waste a boner
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
My ass is underappreciated
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
