we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
You should frame my arrest warrant.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
