I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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