Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
