Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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