Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
