I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Randomize
