Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize