haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize
