just come out here and I will go home with you...
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
