i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
