Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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