Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
