I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
