Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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