question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
