Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
