Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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