so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
We don't watch enough power rangers
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
