I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize