why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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