i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
