Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
