It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
