you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
