Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize