Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
