Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Randomize
