Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
