David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
