Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
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