Will you blow on my dice?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
