i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Drake has all the answers
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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