why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
