Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize