you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
