i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
