you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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