so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
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