That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
