just come out here and I will go home with you...
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I just gargled with NyQuil
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
