oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
