everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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