billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
