She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
