Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
