oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Randomize
