I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
