I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
