Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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