when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
