so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize