i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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