I want to stick my p in your. b.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
someone owes me an orgasm
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
