Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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