after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
