my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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