Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
