we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Less talking, more tequila
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
