Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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