i just google imaged poop.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
