Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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