just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i used baking grease as lip gloss
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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