That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
