I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
