Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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