2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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