Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
