Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Everyone says I win the strip club
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
