idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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