I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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