I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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